Tuesday, July 17, 2012

A Certain Haziness

There is a haziness that overcomes a person who does one of three things:
1. Takes an afternoon nap
2. Drinks just a bit too much
3. Spends a whole day in the sun (for me, this is usually while at the beach)

For me at least, the haziness is always the same. The body is slow and sore, but not in pain. Every position is a comfortable one, whether your head is cutting off the circulation to your arm or your neck is twisted painfully to the size and elevated. Your eyelids are heavy, but they feel just as normal open as closed. Those, plus the temperature. It must be just right, like bathwater. Warm enough to wear a bathing suit or sleep with no sheet, but with a breeze that makes it cool enough not to get sweaty. This haziness...well, it's my favorite thing.

Only within this haziness does everything make sense. Life is not stressful, the future and the past are not there. All that is, is this moment when the blur overtakes your body and your mind settles on the steady rhythm of sleep, conversation, or waves. My dreams are always good. My speech always witty.

The second best part of the haze is the disorientation. Now, one would think that to be disoriented is to be in a negative state of mind. This simply isn't the case for the blur/haze.
1. After waking up from the most amazing dreams and being in the cloud of comfort, there is a bit of disappointment (which is when most people decide to sleep just a bit longer), but then there is a clarity. All of the imagination and creativity comes rushing back to the brain. It is ready to plan and remember. The mind is disoriented from stress and negativity.
2. While drinking a bit too much, there is a clarity of speech. People say things when they are drinking that are unguarded. Most of the time, it isn't such a big deal that they were said. The sober mind believes certain things are inappropriate, ill-timed, or damaging. The buzzed mind considers people only: interprets their facial expressions, explains more clearly, avoids arguments. The mind is disoriented from social rules and selfishness.
3. After spending a whole day in the sun, there is simply a clarity. The mind is free to see only the things right in front. To appreciate the waves and the sand, the murmurs of family, the numbness of the body. The mind is disoriented from little pains and annoyance. It is happy just to be.

Others may not agree with my moments of clarity, my haziness (after all, it is different for everyone), but I think there are a few appreciators I can count on, even if they have never quite put it into words before. I hope I have described their feelings accurately. I can only truly say for myself.

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