Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Second Resolution Season

Wow, I can't believe next week is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Lenten season. So much has changed since I set my New Year's Resolution and it has only been a couple of months. I set out to do what I love, to write. It turns out, I should've gone a bit further.

For those of you who don't already know, I have decided to leave the world of Special Education (for a little while). I withdrew at the beginning of January and have been lost trying to find passion ever since. I've begun applying to a few MFA programs in creative writing and looking at jobs all over the country. If you weren't aware of the change, it isn't because I didn't think you should.

This decision was very difficult for me and that difficulty was driven in part by my high expectations of myself. I thought I would look a failure, even though I didn't fail. Some wise words from various family members and friends helped me realize that sometimes one path doesn't work out, but it still leads you to the next path.

I don't know where my next path will go, but with Lent beginning, I wanted to revise my resolution. For Lent I usually give something up as well as do something extra. This year my "something extra" is going to be a revision of my resolution:
(1) I will continue writing this blog in the same fashion as I have been.
(2) The intent is still to participate in NaNoWriMo.
(3) I will continue searching for a job or degree that suits me and my writing.

I want to give up so many things, but most are superficial. Instead, this year I'm going to add a few things. I want to keep in better contact with my family and friends. There are a few people I've lost these past months and I want them back. I'm going to fight for my relationships. For each of those people, the effort is different. Therefore, I won't parade them about on this blog but hope they come through to the individuals that I love and miss.

I also have some personal goals I'm working towards, and I want to wear myself out pursuing them. At its base, Lent is about sacrifice and hardship. We give up something or make our lives purposefully harder to recognize what God did for us, what His Son did for us. Even if you aren't religious, you can recognize the power of trying to be a better person every day. More patient. Honest. Kind. I use Lent to deliberately pursue those ends and see where I end up. It's a magical season, try it if you dare.

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