Monday, January 30, 2012

Apples


            Animals for sale, including cows, horses, and chickens.
            Adult milk cow for sale. Likes apples. Hauls apples from the orchard.
            Cow is able to pull ten times its weight, plow fields, haul apples, etc.
            All around the pen were animals of all shapes and sizes, but only one cow. She wandered around and about the pen slowly, picking apples up out of the baskets. Pretty animal for a cow. About seven feet long, five feet high. A gigantic head and an even bigger udder. An aroma of flowers, not like you'd expect of a cow.
            If I amassed enough farm animals, I would have a farm. My daughter always wanted a farm and farm animals and we never had the money. Now she would have this cow always.
            I was going to get this cow any way I could. Would this guy allow haggling, I wondered?
            The salesman's accent was faint enough, "Astounding cow, beautiful cow, graceful cow."
            "It's just a cow," I countered.
            "What is your angle?" He asked, suspicious.
            "A gift for my daughter," I replied, to atone for years of sins.
            "We could argue prices for hours, but would you just accept my offer?"
            "Even if the prices are aggravated, I am able to pay." I am not easily aggravated.
            "What do you think would account for that?" A queer question for a salesman to ask.
            "Are you a genie? And I am supposed to guess what you mean?"
            "Amen to that. I am not angry, I'm merely negotiating."
            "You haven't even named a price yet." Now I was getting aggravated.
            "Perhaps there is no price." A priceless milk cow that hauls apples?
            "Well then I guess I tried my best. Anyway, if the cow is not for sale, how much for a bushel of apples?"
            He clapped his hands once and jumped off of the fence post, "A thousand. I will throw in the cow for free."
            Without a moments hesitation, in which I might have missed my chance, "I accept."
            "Look there, we have agreed on a price for the cow, and the apples. People say that I am argumentative. I like to think I am perfectly agreeable if you get my meaning. A lovely cow for your daughter."


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